The Writer's Life: First Steps On The Property Ladder (From My Soon to be Published Book)

 

Imagine the scene. It is the mid-2000's, and property prices in Britain are rocketing (as usual), and I'm viewing a property, and in conversation with an estate agent.

This is part of that conversation.

“Well, a garden would be ideal,” I said. “It’s just a bit small, more of a patio, with a bit of grass.”

Charles leaned back, full of property-market wisdom and self-assurance.

“But it would be your garden. And it wouldn’t need much work to keep it in order. Gardens add value. If you want one at this price level, this is the best you’ll find.”

He was right. Gardens did add value, but I saw the “value” as more than just money. I don’t think Charles did. And this one had already added a little too much monetary value, for me, anyway.

“I don’t think I can afford it,” I said. “The salary multiples don’t work. I might need to win the lottery.”

“Yes, the lottery! I won the lottery once, just ten pounds. I make a lot more selling houses.” He laughed.

And that’s when the conversation took a turn.

“There is one possibility,” he said. “Have you heard of a self-certification mortgage? They are quite popular at the moment.”

I had. In fact, I watched a documentary about them. They were being handed out to people that they weren’t designed for, most likely fuelling the very property boom Charles was profiting from.

“You basically fill out the form, write down your income, we send it to the bank, and it all goes through,” he explained.

“But I don’t earn enough.”

“Well,” he said, lowering his voice a little, “you just have to be a little creative in the numbers.” He smiled. “Lots of people are doing it. The banks don’t check. It always comes back approved.”

“Really?” I said, pretending to be shocked.

“Then we’ll celebrate with a bottle of champagne. You’ll be on the property ladder. And you’ll have your own little show garden.”

When I Was a Lad: Growing Up in 1960s and 1970s Britain, A Memoir of Family Life, Change and Coming of Age

 

My latest book, When I Was a Lad, is available from today.

What did it really feel like to grow up in Britain during the 1960s and 1970s?

When I Was a Lad is a personal account of growing up during one of the most dynamic and turbulent periods in modern British history. This memoir invites readers to experience a changing nation through the eyes of someone who lived it.

It is a Britain that feels both familiar and yet different.

But beyond the personal memories lies a bigger story.

Now Available on Amazon: Hands In The Dirt - How To Grow Your Own Food

 Hands In The Dirt — Notes From A Vegetable Garden, publication date, 2026.

Gardening and growing food, like writing, is a passion of mine, so I put the two together. I turned my gardening journal, the notes I made as the 2025 growing season progressed, into a book.

Hands In The Dirt — Notes From a Vegetable Garden, is the end result.

For those who enjoy gardening and growing their own food, Hands In The Dirt offers insights and practical tips that can enhance your gardening journey and help produce a fruitful harvest.

Here’s the introduction.

Hands In The Dirt is about a vegetable garden, but it is about more than just growing food. It plots my progress through the gardening year, 2025. The planning stage, the Great British weather, learning from mistakes, and slowly building confidence in what the garden can provide.